Dealing with fanatics, the Marvel way
by Flashraven
Summary: Wade and some friends rescue a group of victims from their harassers


**My own attempt at expressing how I feel about the Laurel fanatics who I've learned have been bullying and harassing some of my fellow author friends, including my story project partner and new best buddy Aragorn II Elessar, with just about the most disgusting amount of sickeningness in all the world on here of late. And this will also be a way for me to dedicate my going as strong as ever bts buddyship with Aragorn Elessar, who is just about now one of the best guys I could ever have met on here.**

**This is meant to be humourous, but lets see where it goes**

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A bunch of Laurel fanatics were celebrating in a bar, chatting extremely loudly among themselves, clapping each other on the back or clasping hands, raising and downing glasses full of drink, and laughing mockingly in the direction of a group of seven young people, four Americans, one of them a girl, a Brit, his arm around the girl, an Indian and a Czechoslovakian, who all glowered hatefully in their direction, when five powerful knocks sounded out on one of the bar doors.

"Is that the door?" one fan, a girl with long brown hair, shouted in a pissy mood. Five more knocks followed.

"Alright alright, I'm coming," another fan, a lad, said frustratingly and got up and went over to the door, opening it a crack, eyes widening in shock at seeing Jessica Jones standing on the other side.

"Shut up, the lot of ya," Jessica demanded.

"Mind your own business," the girl fan said as she came over, shoving her companion aside, "Lush." She spat the word at Jessica.

"Your business is our business when we have to constantly put up with it all the time," Jessica countered back just as harshly.

"We?" Suddenly the girl gasped, a squelching sounding out, as something came through the wood of the other door and into her heart.

"Wrong words, bub," a man's gruff voice now spoke from next to Jessica and then the girl slumped to the floor as the whatever was pulled out of her, blood pouring out of the three holes in her chest. Then both doors were kicked violently opened, and Jessica marched casually in, along with four others.

"Holy shit," the second fan gasped, backing away rapidly at seeing the man with the skull vest holding up a Remington 870 MSC with his right hand. Now he brought it down and pointed it forwards, the lad's head disappearing in a blast of bloody red mist as the man's finger squeezed the trigger and fired the gun. The other Laurel fanatics gasped and froze in shock.

"Damn right, asshole," Frank Castle growled, cocking his gun once again as he, Jessica, Wolverine, a woman in a red bikini and wide brimmed Hawaiian straw hat, pulled down over her forehead and eyes, and a man in red and black with two Katanas strapped to his back halted before the Laurel fanatics.

"Hoohoo, now you're really for it," the Brit lad in the on-the-edge group of seven said excitedly.

Logan, his claws fully out, left ones still covered in blood, looked over to him and the other six and nodded. "You guys alright?" he asked sincerely. Nods followed and Logan turned back to the fanatics, the feral look returning to his face. "Time you bubs were taught a real lesson in manners."

"Perhaps a few words before we let loose the bullets and claws, eh, Frankie, Logie?" Wade Wilson aka Deadpool said humouredly, chuckling at the growls emitted from the men's throat at his use of their names.

"Like, who the fuck are you?" a fan asked offensively.

"Really?" Wade asked non seriously, and then burst out laughing, "Oh man, that is goddam funny." He clapped his hands sarcastically, "Seriously, if you were fans of the comics, and the two movies I've had the pleasure of being the lead man, you'd know bloody well who I was. But then I guess you lot have only been using them to your advantage so as to make tonnes of mockery fun of your precious Green Arrow and Black Canary bullcrap towards that group of good friends over there." He gestured with a hand to the group of seven.

"They deserve it," another fan burst out, "Laurel is the one and only true Black Canary, not her slutty sister Sara. What right have that bunch of morons..." he gestured to the group of seven, "...to not stick to that and put Oliver with Sara, Kara or Nyssa in their stories, eh?"

In a thrice, Jessica's right hand was around his neck and lifting him right off his feet, holding him up in front of her. "That is total bullshit coming from the likes of you," she snarled, the fan clawing at her arm as she tightened her grip on his throat, "You ain't even a direct Laurel Lance fan, just of her actress Katie Cassidy." She twisted her hand, snapping his neck, and let his body drop to the floor among his buddies.

"You assholes really are so blind as to the real truth about Lance," Frank spoke up, "You really think a little bit of training by a simple everyday boxer like Ted Grant, or a few weeks training by the lovely Katrina Law's character on the Arrow show, makes her as good as Sara, as good as me, a former highly perfected into battle shape hardened US Marine, now the infamous Punisher, huh? Pah." He spat.

"Excellent, Jessie and Frankie," Wade said, looking between them and giving them each thumbs up with both hands, "And they're so right. If you prickly prickos had any sorta sense in those Dumbo heads of yours, you would agree that the only thing Laurel is ever capable of being good at is being a lawyer, nothing more, nothing less. She'll never be close to Frankie boy, dear Sara, or even to Katrina's style," he pointed with a thumb to the woman in the bikini and straw hat, "And if you really cared some shit, you wouldn't even care if the name was either Laurel, Dinah or Sara, just enjoy the character."

"Yeah, right," Logan growled, "Instead you just go around pretending to be fans but in fact are just loyalists of K.C, and constantly bullying and harassing others about it all, like them lot over there." He pointed with his claws to the group of seven.

The Indian, Aragorn II Elessar, now stood up. "Your bullying and harassing of us has reached the stage where it's gotten just too much to handle that now my friends Stand with Ward and Queen and Philippe363 here..." he indicated two of the American lads, "...have initiated a scorched earth policy, meaning they've now deleted every single one of their Oliver/Laurel works-"

Flashraven, the Brit, now joined Aragorn Elessar. "Stories which they have put so much time and effort and hard work into giving us, myself included, to enjoy. And which now, thanks to you animals, we can never do so again."

"And myself and ArlyssTolero..." Aragorn Elessar continued, gesturing to the third American lad, "...have now gone for the same thing, meaning we aren't gonna do it anymore. I've even had to modify my own Devil and the Archer series, which my new best buddy Flashraven here..." he patted Flashraven on the shoulder, "...loves so much of that he got the inspiration to do his own Arrow/Daredevil crossover project, co-joined with me, called From the Shadows to the Open, so that Oliver/Laurel isn't happening in it."

"And I've followed the same path as they have with my own projects," Bl4ckHunter, the Czechoslovakian, added, "I've now deleted some of my own past Oliver/Laurel stories myself, and vowed not to write the ship as commonly as I once did, except in just short stories or one-shots only."

"He even made the necessary threat to delete his _whole_ Darhk War series, which was perhaps my first proper Fanfiction series to enjoy reading immensely back when it started in May of '17, and start afresh all the way from the beginning, cos Oliver/Laurel is in it, and do Oliara/Oliver and Sara instead," Flashraven spoke in surpport, "That should show you morons how much damage your bullying has caused."

"Yeah yeah yeah, we know he's focusing more on Oliara/Oliver and Sara now, Brit boy," another Laurel fanatic spoke up mockingly, "And like how thick is that, eh? She's like a younger sister to him, and he was with Laurel at the time, and yet still he took the selfish little whore with him on the Gambit and lost her at sea in the end."

"Oh give us a fucking break," Wade laughed, he and Jessica cracking up so much they bent double with hysterics, "Little sister, selfish whore, cheating on Laurel with her? You really are as thick as a Dumbo elephant's ass as to not remember the truth from before Oliver's adventures on and off Lian Yu even began." Now it was Frank and Logan's turn to laugh at Wade's Dumbo remark.

"Oliver cheated on Laurel quite a lot with other women," the bikini and straw hat woman now spoke up, lifting up a finger. "Take Samantha for just one, with whom a drunken one night stand lead to her getting pregnant with his own son and Moira paying her off so as he wouldn't find out the truth," she said, "I could go on, you know, but oh the list is endless."

"As I recall rightly, you even wanted me to do Oliver cheating on Sara with Laurel in one of my stories," Phillipe363 spoke up. He shook his head, face full of anger and disgust, and held up his right middle finger up, "Go fuck yaselves, cos that's _never_ gonna happen."

"As I shared with Max, which is my friend Flashraven's real name, last night his time when we were able to have a bit of conversation with each other..." the girl, Elsie, codename Ladyaweome45321, now said as she stood up and slipped her arm round Max's waist, "I always find it incredibly rude and unnecessary for people to act that way. There's really no reason for it. It's okay of course if opinions don't quite match up, but that's no reason to harass and bully people over something that's so small."

"And if I guess correctly, Flashraven, or Max apparantly," Wade said casually, "You yourself shared with your good friends Elsie and Aragorn Elessar that you now don't care even further that you've only got them and Bl4ckHunter reviewing on your story FTSTTO, that's about right?"

Max nodded, "Yes, that is correct. I may have gone for a ship no one has ever thought of before, or is not gonna do at all, that ship being ArrowKatana/Oliver and Tatsu, and yes I may not have got a large audience for it like Aragorn has with his own Arrow/Daredevil works, Stand with Ward..." he nodded to one of the three American lads, "...even shared with me a while back that my Oliver/Tatsu ship idea is why he hasn't reviewed mine at all. But that's understandable, and I don't care about the small audience, cos I've been wanting to do that ship for a long time, and my A/N at chapter 1's beginning has obviously been read and taken in. So at least that has saved me from all the bullying and harassment."

Jessica, Frank and Logan nodded. "Good on ya, kid," Frank said.

"And I will continue to review From the Shadows to the Open for as long as is necessary," Aragorn Elessar said in support of Max, "Cos we're partners in it, and best buddies as well now, which is all thanks to my simple one-shot about Cicada, A threat ended, published back in February." He and Max both laughed at that.

"As will I," Elsie further added, "And so far, he's the only chief one who's been kind enough and bothering to review my own Legends of Tomorrow fic Sandstorm, but as I also said last night, I would much rather have a few loyal readers than a bunch of readers who only post mean reviews and bully me constantly. If they don't like it, then they should just not read it. Plain and simple."

"In that case, I reckon you two have earned yourselves a free ticket for an extended holiday to join me in Hawaii," the bikini and straw hat wearing woman said, giving the two of them a big smile.

"And just who are you, lush?" another Laurel fanatic, leaning on the bar counter, asked just as pissily as the first one who'd spoken the insultive word.

The woman turned to her, and then reached up and removed her hat, allowing her half hidden face to be shown at last. "You seriously don't even remember an old face, do you?" she asked, trying hard not to burst into laughter.

"Nyssa?!" voices gasped.

The woman shook her head. "It's just Katrina Law now," she said simply.

"Not dressed as the sexy badass assassin League daughter, huh?" another fan remarked, "But then, your character will never be as good for Oliver as even the super-strengthed outer space originated bitch Kara Danvers will be, like Sara. Laurel's the one and only for him." He laughed, then gasped and gurgled as Logan plunged his claws into his stomach, once, twice, then multiple times till his guts and blood spilled out of him and his body fell to the floor, the other fanatics now even more horrified and sick.

"Don't hit my friends," Logan snarled, "With pissant false words, that is."

"Tell that to my story A new age for the League of Assassins," Stand with Ward and Queen now said, "In which I do the Olyssa ship. And I have The Demon's head and the Lady of the Stars, a fic where Oliver is the new boss of the League and married to an Earth 1 Kara Danvers, in my ongoing story contents as well."

"And in support of that, I have an equally as wonderful friend on here called WritersBlock039, who ever since Christmas '17, has been nothing but amazing wonders with her _Unmatched Records _series," Max said, "When Kara first comes to Earth 1, at Oliver's desperate insistence, in the Arrow season 5 finale to help him rescue his son and friends and family from Adrian Chase, and from there the Kariver romance between of them has blossomed very strongly ever since."

"Why are you dressed like that then, huh, lush?" the girl fan demanded of Katrina again.

Katrina strolled up to her, stopping in front of her, left arm perched on the bar counter, right hand reaching behind her to her bikini bottom. Then suddenly, her right hand re-emerged and stabbed the fan's hand with an arrow, the girl screaming.

"And that..." Katrina said, "...is a poisoned broadhead, which last I heard was illegal."

"My words, Katrina," Logan remarked, he, her, Frank, Jessica and Max chuckling.

Katrina nodded. "Thank you," she said and turned back back to the fan. "Ask me that again," she ordered. When no answer came, she picked up the whiskey filled shot glass that was close to her, took a sip and then deliberately poured the rest of the whiskey over the fan's hand, which was blackening with the poison from the arrow. The girl gasped and hissed from the pain. "Ask me," Katrina demanded again.

"Why are you dressed like that?" the Laurel fan obliged through gritted teeth.

"Funny you should say that," Katrina answered sweetly, "It's because I'm now gonna be starting a new role, in the tenth season of young Max's all time favourite crima drama show to be precise- Hawaii Five-0, which means I will have the great pleasure of working, as a series regular, alongside Commander Steve McGarrett, Detective Danny Williams, Captain Lou Grover, Officers Adam Noshimuri, Junior Reigns and Tani Rey, and Special Consultant Jerry Ortega. Which also means I'll be able to finally enjoy plenty of sun, sand, sea and surf, and able to waltze about in a bikini and sunglasses as a result, instead of wearing black and wielding a sword and a bow and arrows all the time, courtesy of a CW show which has all gone down to shit levels anyway."

"And it's cos of that, and who she'll be playing in it, that I'm so so excited for the new Five-0 season," Max said, bouncing for joy a little and sharing a two handed high five with Elsie.

"OK, I think enough words have been said now," Jessica said.

"I agree, Jessie me gal," Wade said, Jessica rolling her eyes at his humoured name use. "And as I'm rather tired of using Mr Bie-insultive-ber enough, we brought a new music friend along to teach the rest of you fucker muckers a lesson. Courtesy of Max and the agreement of his buddy Aragorn Elessar."

"Who?" a fanatic asked in desperation. And then the sound of a guitar being played started up.

"Remember Desperado, bub, and the guy who stars in it?" Logan smirked as he, Jessica, Frank, Katrina and Wade moved off to the side, the fanatics all paling at once in realization as the guitar music increased, accompanined in tune by two others.

"Soy un hombre muy honrado. Que me gusta lo mejor. Las mujeres no me faltan, ni el dinero, ni el amor," Antonio Banderas bellowed out as he now walked out of the shadows, long brown hair tied back in a ponytail, expertly plucking his state of the art black guitar's strings with his fingers, his two Spanish companions strumming their more older looking ones with their hands, one of them left handed. The fanatics now began backing away in horror as Banderas looked them all in the eye with his.

"Jineteando en mi caballo. Por la sierra yo me voy. Las estrellas y la luna, ellas me dicen donde voy," Banderas sang further as he advanced slowly on them with his two fellow guitarists, "Ay, ay, ay, ay. Ay, ay mi amor. Ay mi morena de mi corazón." At that, the fanatics all ran for the entrance, desperate to escape the singing, but just as they reached, both doors swung shut with a crash.

"Leaving the party so soon, are we?" a deep British accented voice spoke up from behind them, and they turned round in panic, to see Erik Lehnsherr aka Magneto, dressed in his traditional outfit and crimson silk lined cape, but lacking his helmet, from the main X-Men trilogy, standing behind them, his right arm held out in front of him, fingers of his right hand spread apart. "We wouldn't want to miss the music now, would we?" Erik remarked humouredly as Banderas plucked his guitar strings.

"Me gusta tocar la guitarra. Me gusta cantar el sol. Mariachi me acompaña cuando canto mi canción." The fanatics pressed their hands over their ears, whimpering, begging for him to stop, while off to the side, Max and Elsie danced along to it together.

"Me gusta tomar mis copas. Aguardiente es lo mejor. También el tequila blanco con su sal le da sabor," Banderas went on, "Ay, ay, ay, ay. Ay, ay mi amor. Ay mi morena de mi corazón."

Jessica, Logan and Frank came to Erik's side while Wade and Katrina stayed where they were, swaying and rocking in rhythm to the Desperado song's lyrics. As Banderas and his companions continued their playing, Frank shot one, then another, a third fanatic with his Remington 870 shotgun, splattering their blood everywhere. Logan disembowled another, then another, with his claws, ripping into them till their guts spilled outta them, relieving another of her head.

"Me gusta tocar la guitarra. Me gusta cantar el sol. El mariachi me acompaña cuando canto mi canción," Banderas sang, the other men tapping the backs of their turned upside down guitars in rhythm to the lyrics. Then they turned them right way up, strumming back along with Banderas as he started the next ones, bellowing them out louder than before, "Me gusta tomar mis copas. Aguardiente es lo mejor. También el tequila blanco con su sal le da sabor."

As the surviving fanatics whimpered louder than ever, their heads ringing from the words, Erik reached his arms behind him, circled them up and then thrust them down and out in front of him. "Ay, ay, ay, ay. Ay, ay mi amor. Ay mi morena de mi corazón." Several knives and cooking tools soared over Erik's shoulders, embedding in the heads and throats of some of the last survivors.

"Ay, ay, ay, ay. Ay, ay mi amor. Ay mi morena de mi corazón," Banderas roared, stretching out the last word, and as he rapidly strummed the last bit of music on his guitar strings, Jessica dispatched the last two fanatics with several super-strengthed punches to the head, killing them dead as Banderas and his two fellow guitarists stopped their playing, all three playing their playing hands up in the air as they did before letting them fall gently down again.

Applause now started up from the seven authors, Wade and Katrina, and Banderas bowed. "Thank you. Thank you," he said like a proud stage band leader.

"And that's how you deal with a bunch of prickos who ain't got nothing else better to do other than spend their time taking the mickey outta others for their love ship choices," Wade remarked.

"Like us," Stand with Ward and Queen said straightly, the others nodded.

"Damn right," Frank remarked.

"So," Katrina said, turning to Max and Elsie with a smile, "Ready for that holiday now, you two?"

Max looked to Elsie, who shrugged and nodded, satisfying him enough. "I think so," he said happily.

"But before you do so," Erik said, "I think a real occasion is in order first."

Logan nodded, his own amused smirk showing on his face, and reached up to his ear. "You can do it now, Cap," he said, and then all four walls of the bar slid down into the floor, revealing the bridge of SHIELD helicarrier no.64, and a huge cheering crowd of young Oliara, Kariver and Olyssa fans, as well as Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff.

"Let's party," a young man's voice called out excitedly and at once, Footloose by Kenny Loggins began blaring out of the helicarrier's speakers.

"Yes. Come on, this is my song," Max shouted and ran into the throng, dragging Elsie with him. Bl4ckHunter and the three American lads followed more respectively slowly, allowing their fans to congratulate them.

"Oh, Jess," Aragorn Elessar said, approaching her, "Don't suppose you could lend me your lovely partner Trish's number, could ya? I mean she is so hot, as hot as my second crush, the singer from Canada Avril Lavigne, I dream about her every day and night, oh man like, I'm so obsessed with her, I so desperately would love to meet her."

"Eugh. In ya dreams, kid," Logan grimaced.

"Yeah, go on," Jessica said, waving Aragorn Elessar away with a hand, "Go knock yaself out on that dance floor."

"Fine, fine," Aragorn Elessar submitted, raising his hand and following his friends, their supporters and followers swallowing him up in their cheering happy throng.

"Young people," Erik remarked.

"Well this is what they're like most of the time, Magentic Man," Frank said humouredly.

"Magneto, thank you, Mr Castle," Erik reminded, turning to him.

"Oh, boys, have you forgotten what I told two very annoying neighbours of mine once?" Jessica asked. The two men and Logan turned to her. "Self respect. Get some," she said, and laughed, joined by Frank, Logan and Banderas, Erik just respectfully chuckling.

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**And there we are. I hope you guys, the ones of us who have been getting constantly hounded and bullied by these Laurel fanatics, who simply aren't people in my eyes, but mindless animals, enjoyed it, and I hope you did yourself especially, Aragorn II Elessar, buddy, as I wanted to dedicate this to our still going as strongly as ever buddyship. I added myself and friend, and fellow reviewer to my Arrow/Daredevil story, Elsie in as those who support you guys.**

**And I hope you Katie Cassidy loyalist smuts see this and do as my pals Stand with Ward and Queen, Bl4ckHunter and Aragorn Elessar have warned you of as well: stay the hell away from us and get yaselves a life, fuck off and find another Lauriver focused story to crave about and stop having a go at us for it.**

**Pardon my French, everyone, but at least it's out my system**


End file.
